If you have clicked on this then hearty congratulations may be in order. After all this could conceivably be the thousandth Rooney-related article you have read in the past year alone. Streamers should go off at this point. A prize for your patience is in the post.
Before that awful familiarity sets in however let’s be clear from the off that this is not your standard ‘hot take’ on Rooney’s sustained decline in form and standing. I’m as thoroughly bored to death with the subject as you are. In fact why did you click on this? Are you some kind of masochist?
No, enough is enough, and surely now we can move past the hoary debates, startling stats, and think-pieces and settle on some indisputable truths. Let’s list them and get them out of the way.
1/ Wayne Rooney has been woefully out of form for some considerable time now and a shadow of his former self. Let’s not discuss precisely how long because that might prove a sticking point. Let’s just agree on ‘for some considerable time’.
2/ If any other player for Manchester United or England had put in such distinctly average performances over this timeline they would be so well acquainted with the Old Trafford bench that their leather seat would have a personalised bum-groove and, additionally, they would find themselves on the periphery of the international set-up. Depending on the individual in question they might even have been sold by their club and cast into the international wilderness.
3/ It therefore follows that Wayne Rooney has – for some considerable time – lived off his reputation and been afforded special dispensation by David Moyes, Louis van Gaal, Roy Hodgson, Sam Allardyce and – to a lesser extent – Jose Mourinho due to the ‘legend’ and branding behemoth he is.
All of which has resulted in acres of newspaper print and countless tweets, all of which have genuine anger or indignation bubbling beneath the surface. Why? Because fundamentally it goes against basic fairness and if there’s one thing guaranteed to seriously irk an Englishman it’s when the notion of fair play is corrupted. With the possible exception of musicians who peaked in the sixties we have never liked anyone living off their reputations – which is surely to our credit? – and this perhaps explains our supposed national delight in building people up only to knock them down. We don’t do that. Not really. We notice that someone in the public eye is on a downward trajectory and we simply let them know so they can move aside for another. It’s politeness, really, when you think of it like that.
This anger, understandably, has been squarely aimed at the protagonists in this drawn-out saga: the managers named above and Rooney himself. There is clear logic here. It follows.
At this point though I’d like to bring in another Manchester United great who last week encountered similar charges of delusion, entitlement, and, well, living off his reputation.
When Ryan Giggs was overlooked for the vacant Swansea position in favour of Bob Bradley it led to an ill-considered newspaper column by his friend and former Wales team-mate Robbie Savage, who claimed he ‘despaired’ of the decision. According to Savage it was madness that 35 years of managerial experience trumped 24 years of playing experience for a managerial appointment. This nonsensical rant was followed by an equally ill-considered comment by Giggs himself declaring that the chief reason he is not preparing for a tricky trip to Arsenal this weekend with a new club was because their ambitions didn’t match his own. Righto Ryan. Whatever you say pal.
So now we have a Premier League legend who has been living off his reputation for the past two years – oops, I mean ‘for some considerable time’ – and another who evidently believes he should still be able to.
It is very hard to defend the transparent propaganda at work here, propaganda that always originates from toadying journalists or former team-mates. It is very hard to defend it and I won’t. It is routinely nauseating.
The rest of it though – the vitriol and mockery aimed at Rooney and Giggs for their inflated sense of self-worth – I do have a problem with. Because it smacks of unjustness.
At face value the delight with which we are collectively laying into each player is our standard modus operandi of building them up then knocking them down. On yer way son, you’re past your prime; you’ve had your day. On this occasion however we must consider to what astonishing unparalleled extent we built them up in the first place.
If Gazza beckoned in the era of celebrity into top flight football then Giggs and Rooney were among the first beneficiaries of the Premier League juggernaut producing rarefied ‘megastars’, legends who personified the ludicrous hype of modern football. Both men were lauded far above their standing and regarded – from their adolescence onwards – with a reverential awe that would disturb even the most balanced of minds.
From every television network to every newspaper and magazine to every man they encountered on the street they were treated like deities. Special and otherworldly. Roman emperors would often have servants remind them that they are only a man – ‘Remember Caesar, thou art mortal’ – yet with this pair the very opposite has been true for all of their adult lives.
We expect them to somehow flip an off switch now? Seriously, how unreasonable is that?
24 years on from the Premier League’s inception we are witnessing a new phenomenon: the retirement or waning powers of these mega-stars and their inability to adjust to being viewed differently and while I take umbrage at Colleen Rooney’s assertion that her husband deserves sympathy he is equally undeserving of such hatred.
We are all – to varying degrees – guilty of placing these very, very good players onto pedestals up in the clouds. Is it fair, then, to criticise them for having their heads still reside there?